Hm, let me think (may give me slim chance to NOT be longest post

)
well, i got it within one 1280x1024 screen, not including sig, and this is the only line of small text, so that's a win!
Staying clean, out or at home
* Regular Coke, lemonade, canada dry... (luv sugar, can't
stand saccharine no matter how the "diet" drink is mixed)
* Plain water, bottle or tap, not fussed (some supplies
are like drinking mercury, though)
* Tea - plain bags, or a bit of loose-spooned Earl Grey with pot 'n' strainer (grew from a shopping error, but i really like it)
* Milk with GREEN CRUSHA mix

though its just not as fun now im not 10 years old.
Used to be a coffee/OJ freak, but REALLY cut down, as they started to properly irritate my stomach.. acid reflux, stabbing pain, etc, all dad's classic symptoms. Ended up with him having an ulcer. Don't want that! So last few weeks (since i realised the problem) have been tough... caffiene detox! Sadly, large amount of lager have started to have the same effect, and it also means there's another addition to the menu...
* Gaviscon - mmm, cold, minty custard, two scoops please!

(nasty as it is, more palatable than Rennie & far more effective - basically saved my life after all-day edinburgh bender)
Going out and getting... "nice"
* Whatever's on tap and affordable... Only 2 limits - no Stella (tastes like bleach), and not "Wetherspoon standard" if possible, even if in Spoons - i.e. watery, flat, with detergent or rotting barrel aftertaste. JDWs is cheap, but rarely up to even student dive standards!
* Best is a decent, strong lager (1664, San Miguel etc), or good bitter ("Tiger" is current fave - not the weak bottled lager, but a damn good old fashioned british ale). Even a half decent bitter will do - boddies, tetleys etc.
* When in Scotland, Tennents. It's the law.
Going out and getting truly hammered
* JD and coke, Gin + tonic, Gin + orange
* Vodka and anything.. except red bull (like Stella, but toilet duck this time).
* Always a SoCo + Lemon or Malibu + coke "next time", because it was good last time i had one stuffed in my hand...
* Neat single malt whiskey, double, maybe with one or two chunks of ice.
* Baileys.... if no-one's looking (oops

)
* Guinness. It's a good stomach liner and takes the place of crisps if you can't get any. Doesn't taste too bad either.
* Whatever diseased minds feel like once in the memory blackout zone. Including aniseed balls dissolved in pints.
Staying in and getting relaxed
* Budweiser. Often critised, but its a refreshing, very drinkable lager (ie goes down easy but nice when taken slow) that's full "continental" 5.0% strength. It's the best value at Tesco without buying their own-brand grey tins (which are better than Carling themselves!). It's even cheaper per litre than their own terrible "Biere Blond", and whips every other brand, including Tiger - Bud widdles all over it

* All manner of wierdness in the cupboard... Ouzo, odd Aperitif stuff (think Port, but french) that's about 20% and was a quid a bottle from a gallic Del Boy, Hennessy cognac, spirits that are so awful and untouched that the labels have mostly fallen off, etc
Stuff to NEVER EVER TOUCH
* Stella, obviously. Or tainted chain-pub pints ("but it's cheap!" is no excuse).
* Hoegaarden or other "white lager", particularly if it has to be drunk with citrus. Tip, if your beer requires fruit,
you've made it wrong. Awful.
* Cheaper-brand and blended whiskeys. May as well have neat vodka if you're drinking Bells without mixer...
* Mass amounts of coffee, oj, wine, lager, if i dont want to die in A&E
* Coke shandy. You heard me right. Sold in Lidl and Aldi for a while, probably imported to UK because Germans wouldn't drink it. Tried some once - just in case you want to put cola in your lager, here's a tip: DON'T. Even if its 20p a pint, as Lidl stuff was. Even tramps weren't buying.
* Red bull or any of it's clones. Awful rubbish, and doesn't even work..
* Aftershocks. If you want me to drink that, you're going to have to
snort one first. Ditto Black sambuca, aka devils snot.
* Snakebite & black. Doesn't get you drunk quicker, just makes your hangover worse, so you THINK you were more hammered than you were.
* Turbo-shandies. Like snakebites (smirnoff ice isn't any stronger than good lager), but more expensive and taste even worse.