Chally_Rai wrote:In the word of our Frankie...
**** you right back!
# A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
If she took better care of herself he wouldn't need to look elsewhere
# What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin
Nothing. He has everything what could you possibly give him. Silly question. Next...
# Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
They know theyre not going to prison for it
Probably because he told her the truth... "Im not rich"
# How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
# Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Because they don't want to get trapped by a life long contract after meeting her 5 mins ago
# Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
# Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
# Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
Agree with this one
# What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
Then I was born
# Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Husband: as opposed to making me dinner..what else
# Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Believe me no man could wait that long...& she ain't no virgin come wedding day
# Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
# If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.
# Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
Alone time... get away from all that japping (sp?)
# How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
# What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
A gun in his pocket
# How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
# Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
If women were as reliable as that car, they would get treats too
# How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
One - men will screw up anything.
# How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
# How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
# How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows?
None, its womans job
# How are men and toilets alike?
The good ones are always engaged. Free ones are mostly full of $hit
# Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the $hit out of you.
# Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains
# How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes
# How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini
# Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites Attract.
# What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man
# What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
tooooo shay
Are you single by any chance?If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
The swallow. YOU LOVE GIVING AND RECEIVING HERPES
How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her. YOUR A CHEAT
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care. YOU DONT CARE ABOUT SATISFYING YOUR SEXUAL PARTNERS AND ARE SELFISH
What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is BEEP her. YOU CANT MAKE LOVE AND F UCK AT THE SAME TIME
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant. YOU DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS IN GENERAL
How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, let the ***** cook in the dark. YOU HAVE NO RESPECT
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in. YOURE LAZY
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long. YOURE INTO TORTURE
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it! YOURE GOING TO BE SO NICE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOULL DRIVE HER TO COMFORT EATING AND WHATEVER ELSE
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side. YOU HATE WOMEN
Chally_Rai wrote:Ok Ok mystery you winAre you single by any chance? Depends whos askingIf the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
The swallow. YOU LOVE GIVING AND RECEIVING HERPES
How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her. YOUR A CHEAT
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care. YOU DONT CARE ABOUT SATISFYING YOUR SEXUAL PARTNERS AND ARE SELFISH
What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is BEEP her. YOU CANT MAKE LOVE AND F UCK AT THE SAME TIME
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant. YOU DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS IN GENERAL
How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, let the ***** cook in the dark. YOU HAVE NO RESPECT
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in. YOURE LAZY
I actually agree with this one... it should be opened... thats like me making you a sandwich for example and just bring you the ham... meaning you have to go get the bread yourself
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long. YOURE INTO TORTURE
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it! YOURE GOING TO BE SO NICE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOULL DRIVE HER TO COMFORT EATING AND WHATEVER ELSE
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side. YOU HATE WOMEN
Bitter? Thirsty actually
touchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ooooooooooo touchy touchy touchy touchy
touch me mystery touch me! Londely? no.........a little to the left dear
p.s i think you were looking for the word yapping I was. Thanks....although you can half talk cant you?
kipper wrote:alright people calm down!!!! think were getting a bit immature now and naggy...... That was kind of the idea...
y dont u "shut ur mouths" whoaa easy there(figure of speech) and let your cars do the talking........ ermm,what? This is the club house so nothing to do with cars... we could make a new fast and furious film....... been done already..they called it Tokyo Drift
but for the record i aint like that, if my gf goes away for a while i dont wimper and cry or "clutch her tshirt" i just get on with it and enjoy the FREEDOM of not having anyone telling me what to do........ you let your gf tell you what to do?which is how it should be......... not that i pay attention n e way. we both trust each other so theres nothing to worry about.
but i do admit the jokes (both sides) were pretty funny to...... might have to use some of them...... if i can remember them.......
Thats love right there. You see the love in this forum? Its beautifulmysteryboy wrote:
p.s i think you were looking for the word yapping I was. Thanks
