UK-POLOS.NET - THE VW Polo Forum

first up --- grand prize today goes to the SUICIDAL IDIOT WITH FAMILY ON BOARD in a focus who i nearly totalled earlier on the A42 south. It's true speed kills - if i'd been doing the limit rather than the 60-ish i was at the time, things may have been worse, at least to the point where i would have smoked the tyres which is never desirable on a motorway class road. Especially if the car behind had been tailgating instead of merely being a bit close.
Instead i just had to brake hard and lean fully on the horn and main beams for about five seconds. Lucky escape.
What they did:
Sit in a layby. Wait for a gap. HALFWAY UP the layby (which i'd only do myself in the 1.0, when its really busy - they were in a 1.6 and it wasnt too bad). Miss the gap.... and go for it anyway. Slowly. Without any pause for hesitation or mirrors, just pulling out onto the carriageway (no slip road) as if other vehicles didnt exist. I'm already passing the point they started from when they dart out AND DONT ACCELERATE. SHIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiii.........

Not acceptable behaviour on any road, much less that one. Worse still after I gave them the "LOOK OUT I'MA COMIN!" treatment, they still didnt get any much faster. Reckon they'd just reached 40 by the time i came off the brake (down to 35..), 45 when i let go of the warning apparatus, and sat there for a while. Eventually reached 55 before i got too hacked off and passed them and gave a demonstration of what a mirror looks like. (And the kind of performance you should get from a 1600cc ... i think i was quicker even in 5th!)

Why lord, why?

There'd already been an accident down there that day...

Mind you far from the only bit of idiot driving seen today, just the most memorable. Things seemed bad all over ... and i though you only got eclipses with New moons?

I'm also wondering if double decker buses are except from HGV weight limits, as i know they're knocking on for 6 tonnes unladen and more like 12 full up. But I was third in a queue following a quite slow (presumably full) one down a country lane clearly marked as 7.5T max because of narrowness and a weak bridge. Gaahh.

Anyway, andyG - you get my vote

i love keeping an almost constant speed through sections of stop start traffic and just marvelling at how many people around me must be one complete reflex autopilot
you could write a BASIC program that would be indistinguishable from them: slave a keyboard to a parking distance meter (registering multiples of 2m by holding down a number key; "out of range" by releasing them) and a joystick fire button to a thing that picks up brake and red traffic lights. control of brake and throttle through... um... MAGIC!
10 LET A$=INKEY$
20 WAIT 0.5
30 LET B$=INKEY$
30 IF JOYFIRE=1 AND B$<3 OR B$="" THEN GOSUB HARD_BRAKE
40 IF JOYFIRE=1 AND B$ =>3 THEN GOSUB THROTTLE_OFF
50 IF JOYFIRE=0 AND B$<=A$ THEN GOSUB MAINTAIN_SPEED
60 IF JOYFIRE=0 AND B$>A$ THEN GOSUB FULL_THROTTLE
70 LET A$=B$
80 GOTO 20
RUN * 12,000,000

of course that only works on the assumption they never leave more than 20 metres braking distance, but that is pretty accurate...

i prefer to play the gambling game where i see if i can correctly guage the average speed of the traffic and roll on through it never having to alter by more than a couple mph... resigning early enough if wrong (or some numpty rains on the parade by stalling, being asleep, doing a stupid move etc) that extra speed or braking can be applied gently and safely.
doesnt always work, but the times it works well enough that it can be done whilst coasting at 0rpm are the best

and i shall be trying macemc86s suggestion!!

(comment on trucks passing side by side to be reserved for another thread that i'm surprised no-one else has started yet)

haha, yea try it, its awesome.i sometimes go into town at night, n if theres a group of lads being lairy, i reverse up n squirt em. lol...will get some pics........

i know about the washer jets being turned sideways !! i once squirted a fiesta...he must have pulled over, turned his jets sideways..caught up with me n squirted the s**t out of me........
we ended up having a water fight for about 2 miles... lol.was quality.

MORE! BIGGER! hehe...

dino what was going on with following that person at between 8 and 20mph? Were they on a bike or just driving like a complete gibbon?
Wonder if they'd have noticed if you'd pulled up behind and given them a gentle accelerative push.
(dont worry, it can be done - this is how i got the polo in and out of my garage without an engine in... a garage thats at the top of an inclined driveway)

Roundabouts. Why can people not "get" the ones where the lanes spiral outwards to the destination exits. They're intrinsically safer and easier to use, except for the mongs who completely ignore the lane markings and drive round at WHATEVER FIXED RADIUS THEY DAMN WELL PLEASE. I've nearly been wiped out six times in the past three weeks by these arseholes and it's only a matter of time before they catch me off guard and the outcome is a wrecked door (mine), front wing (theirs) and lots of hassle, instead of a stab of the brakes and a blast of the horn. Maybe i'll purposely hold my position just a little longer and not brake quite early enough so that they "Pitt" themselves against my bumper. I'm sure the insurance will come down on my side even if it is technically a "hit from behind"... They swerved into my lane yeronner, you can see from the tyre marks i stamped the brakes but to no avail...

Or why, when there's a queue of traffic stretching all the way from one exit to the opposite one on a main route roundabout, moving about a foot a minute, do they move such as to block all the other exits as well, and not bother to shift out of the way even when they can. Usually theres a 3ft gap in front and 4ft behind, neither of which are quite enough to let a 4'6" wide car through, but are ample when even partially combined. But it doesnt happen even with horn and a perpendicular queue of work-weary people giving them evils.
I get this a lot when parking at work..... The traffic queue is one way, going to the left. I and most other people leaving this particular car park (because of the access routing) are going right. Can we get a gap from anyone (other than, usually, bus and taxi drivers)? Can we hell.

Folk who will CHARGE towards a plainly obvious red light, especially one that's either only just changed, or one with a standing queue of several vehicles between them and the stop line. Or will tail you as you oil towards it wasting neither effort nor time. Where's the missing wire that's become unsoldered in their head?
(same thing as all those who stand up on the plane while its still taxiing at 40mph, or on the train a full minute before it pulls to a stop in the terminus - despite the fact they'll still be standing waiting to get out at least a minute AFTER it's stopped and may as well stay seated ... or yellow box blockers! should be a law you're allowed to slash their tyres in representation of the obstruction to movement they cause)

PS Tailgaters - another method i like, which works in pretty much any car no matter how crap and slow.... ease off ever so gently, see if they eventually take the hint when down to about 18mph ... if not, get down into 1st, clutch down, let it slow a bit further.... full throttle, dump the clutch, wheelspin...... and away, into 2nd, keep your foot clamped until back at a reasonable cruising speed and resume normal activity. Wash rinse and repeat if they come bothering you again.
Or slowing with the gears and handbrake of course (or with ignition off, on a non-VW) to catch them off guard - use this very carefully though.