Sniff Petrol
Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:44 pm
It just gets funnier and funnier! 
SniffPetrol.com wrote:
CARS GROW BEARDS
The car design world was in turmoil this week following a new and potentially disturbing discovery - cars are growing beards.
"We first noticed a slight beardiness in the Volkswagen Golf GTI concept," claimed made-up design pundit Fnrk Hamtoastie, who also appears in the story above. "But the real shock was the new Audi A6. I think there's little doubt that it has a full goatee. Then the new Rover 75 V8 appeared, which also has one of those strange mouth surrounding beards much favoured by mature students and George Michael".
Experts have been quick to point the finger of blame. "The Golf and A6 both come from VW Group, which is run by Bernard Whatsisname," noted one industry observer. "And the 75 V8 is from MG-Rover, run by Kevin Howe. Both these men have goatees themselves - they're trying to make cars that look like they do".
This new and profoundly unsettling finding could have serious and unattractive consequences for global car design, beyond bits of food stuck around the radiator grille. "I think we have to hope for the best," observed one industry noter. "At the moment there are mercifully few other beards in senior positions at car companies. We just have to pray that someone at, say, General Motors doesn't go inexplicably mental and makes Noel Edmonds managing director".
However, others were less upbeat. "God, what if Ross Brawn became head of Ferrari road cars," muttered one senior insider. "He's not just got a beard; it's a really s**t beard."