UK-POLOS.NET - THE VW Polo Forum

Acura NSX- I am impotent.
Alfa Romeo - I’m looking for Beta Juliet.
Aston Martin DB7 - I have sweaty feet, but still women like to suck my toes, I wonder why?
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Audi TT - I love golf, but I love my car (with no space) more.
Audi A4 - Airhead who wants to be a banker, but is already a merchant . . .
Audi A6 - I like/have to shave my hairy ****.
BMW 3 series - I’m a successful sole trader & I can’t drive.
BMW 5 series - I have a successful limited company & I can’t drive.
BMW 7 series - I get other people to do my work, I’m far too important, but I still can’t drive.
BMW Z3 - I eat bananas with Marmite spread on them & passed 3 GCSE’s.
BMW Z4 - I run a trendy wine bar & have drunk most of the profits.
BMW Z8 - See Nissan 350Z
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states of America.
Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people.
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Chrysler PT Cruiser - I dig graves & carry coffins.
Citroen AX - I chew on Barley straw & enjoy stamp collecting.
Citroen C3 - I want to escape to the jungle where life is free.
Citroen C5 - I have dreamed of conquering Mount Everest, but then thought it best to get a real job.
Citroen Picasso - From Essex, also see Renault Scenic.
Citroen Saxo - see Ford Fiesta.
Daewoo Matiz - I eat pizza for lunch & smoke 50 a day.
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart - I teach special needs children and I voted for Tony Blair.
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ferrari 360M - I need a counselling session with Jerry Springer.
Ferrari 575 Maranello - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Fiat Uno - I’m a student waster.
Fiat Brava - Daddy buys my cars, one day he’ll buy me an MR2.
Fiat Bravo - I drive my low budget company car.
Fiat Espace - I live on a council estate; also see Renault scenic.
Fiat Multipla - I have no taste; also see Renault scenic.
Fiat Punto - I have product overload on my hair & consider Pizza Hut an Italian restaurant.
Ford Anglia - I buy all my clothes and consumables from my local pound shop.
Ford Cougar - I secretly steal street signs, I have them arranged in my back garden & at night it looks like aliens have landed.
Ford Escort - I’m a wannbe boy-racer, but in secret I buy pot plants for my mummy & take my Grandma shopping every week.
Ford Fiesta - Hairdresser, no sense of direction.
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Focus - I’m a boy-racer disguised as a sensible office worker at the weekends I'm a curry monster!!
Ford KA - I’m a student & can’t afford a Fiesta.
Ford Maverick - I’m cute, gay & immature and I love peanut butter.
Ford Mondeo - I’m a family person posing as a business manager.
Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Orion - I like to cut shapes into potatoes and give them to the homeless.
Ford Sierra - I still think LA Gear trainers are “coolâ€

Renault Clio - I love my Daddy.

Funnily enough, my dad bought my sister a brand spanking new Clio for her first car last year.

He got me a F-reg Metro! Hmmm

Nelson_Wilbury wrote:

Skoda Fabia - I can’t afford a Volkswagen.
Toyota Supra - I can do no wrong.
Volkswagen Golf- I am out of the closet.
Volkswagen Golf Convertible - I’m still hiding in the closet, but one day. . .
Volkswagen Microbus- I am tripping right now.
Volkswagen Polo - I own my own salon, but use too much salt on my food.

just some of the ones i feel are, umm, useful to the forum, i like the mircobus one.
skoda fabia is especially for josh hehe
Y r u coming out or are out of the closet if u drive a golf.
whats going on with the polo one?

and i thought i'd leave the toyota supra one in there cause i think thats great!

Volkswagen Polo - I own my own salon, but use too much salt on my food.

OK, WTF?

I'm sure there's something funny in there somewhere, but i can't figure it out...

Mind you I saw this list back when it was only north american models... so it's been altered... good chance whoever took the time to add european ones was high at the time

time to analyse it in-depth with some deeper analysysysysis! exploring further than the VW list, this thing is seriously messed up!
yay for mind altering narcotics!

BMW 3 series - I’m a successful sole trader & I can’t drive.
BMW 5 series - I have a successful limited company & I can’t drive.

nuff said

BMW Z3 - I eat bananas with Marmite spread on them & passed 3 GCSE's.
Citroen AX - I chew on Barley straw & enjoy stamp collecting.
Citroen C3 - I want to escape to the jungle where life is free.

What?

Dodge Dart - I teach special needs children and I voted for Tony Blair.

Dodge what now? Isn't that a bus?

Fiat Uno - I’m a student waster.

yep

Fiat Brava - Daddy buys my cars, one day he’ll buy me an MR2.
Fiat Bravo - I drive my low budget company car.

THAT explains it. Who do you know says "yknow, i really like the look of those Fiat saloons, think i'll have one as my next car"...???

Ford Cougar - I secretly steal street signs, I have them arranged in my back garden & at night it looks like aliens have landed.

What the hell?

Ford Escort - I’m a wannbe boy-racer, but in secret I buy pot plants for my mummy & take my Grandma shopping every week.
Ford Fiesta - Hairdresser, no sense of direction.
Ford KA - I’m a student & can’t afford a Fiesta.

All three I can vouch for with examples

Ford Maverick - I’m cute, gay & immature and I love peanut butter.
Ford Orion - I like to cut shapes into potatoes and give them to the homeless.

Again........... are you on druuuuuuuuugs, boy?

Ford StreetKA - Half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.

Then why not get a Smart soft-top

Honda Accord - I pick my nose & flick the boogers at small children.
Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

For the indecisive

Honda Jazz - I’m a train-spotter who’s been arrested several times for stalking the trains.
Infiniti Q45- My job requires me to ensure every Jammy Dodger has no smaller than a 2cm Jam diameter.

ROFLMAO

Isuzu Impulse- I don’t give a rip about Max Power or their reports.

<monacle> J D Power, dear sir. Just because your joke has crossed the atlantic doesnt make one jot of difference </monacle>

Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.

"Failure" of Daihatsu?

Kia Sportage - I consider Car Boot Sale purchases Antiques of the future.

I can see my dad buying one of them in the near future, as he beleives that...

Lada Favourite - I’m a member of the Taliban seeking asylum in Great Britain.

1. Skoda favorit.
2. eh?

Lotus Elise - I dance like an ape & I love watching porn.
Lotus Elan - I go on 18-30’s holiday’s to see how the other half live!

Why else do you think I aspire to a Lotus? Porn and dancing like a monkey with the 18-30s, there's no other way...

MGZR - I’m a computer geek & make mohair wigs as a hobby.

Pardon?

Mitsubishi Colt - I smell of cheese & shop in Liddles, Aldi’s, Pound stretcher etc.

Yup

Nissan Sunny - I talk too much & can handle a vindaloo with ease.

Get the feeling this was written for a very small group of particular friends?

Peugeot 205 - I hang on street corners at the weekends & keep a machete under my passenger seat.
Peugeot 206cc - I’m two faced and will try and run all you wasters off the road.
Peugeot 307 - I’m an accountant, I’ve found a car that suites every purpose & no purpose at the same time.

Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on America’s Ten Most Wanted List.

Um??
Nasty old rattly things for sure, but wha?

Porsche Boxter - I still live with my mum & treat women like sh*t.
Proton Impian - I have a pet raccoon called Jimmy & prefer shift work.
Rover Metro - I spend all day watching Friends & ER, I also like egg mayo and Tuna sandwiches.

Those actually make sense

And now the VAG-bashing...

Seat Alhambra - I can’t cook, have rotten teeth & live on a council estate in Bromley.
Seat Ibiza - I want to be model, but I have no chance unless I bed the photographer.

WTF?

Seat Leon - My boss hates, that’s why he gave me this as a company car.
Skoda Fabia - I can’t afford a Volkswagen.

*ahem* backstabbing b*stards *ahem*

Smart Roadster - I collect Mars Bar wrappers, I have one dating back to 1948.
Suzuki Gran Vitara - I laugh like a demented dog & wear my underwear inside out.

Hello?!?!

TVR Tuscan - I keep picking up mingers, once had a bird with 3 ****.

If that's what a Tuscan does for you, I'll take two!
Three jubblies! Proper.

Vauxhall Corsa - I’m single, but at least I’m not a hairdresser.

Oh, that's no excuse.

Vauxhall Nova - Essex-boy-racer & drug-dealer, has had more speeding fines than hot dinners!

By slipstreaming a bus so he can make 37mph! At least somethings agreed on!

Vauxhall VX220 - I can’t see my feet, as my balls are too big.

What?!!!?

Volvo 740 Wagon- I am "frite"ned of my wife.

and a final victory for the iffy word filter

*off to eat a banana with marmite spread on it*