crazy people walking in the goddamn road (randompost)

[Tahrey1043]

Dumbest thing of the day........... trying to get down the often congested hospital driveway to the staff car park, music blaring, only to find two clueless blonde tarts ambling their way down the centre of the narrow lane (perfectly good pavement to the right, and construction site protective boarding to the left, whole area festooned with "pedestrians please keep to the right hand footway" signs). Not bad enough it's under a 10mph limit and generally gets clogged with delivery trucks, the one time its clear and theres a human roadblock dragging it down to 2mph.

Lady on pavement turns round and makes faces at my musical taste. I just shrug and point in front of me. Surely by now they must be wondering where the racket's coming from (and the engine noise)?

A queue builds up behind. Had enough of this. i don't mind being a couple minutes late but this is an important service road, all manner of essential stuff has to get down.

Leaning out of window: "HEY, GOOD JOB I'M NOT AN AMBULANCE, ISN'T IT?". (if only i had that casualty dance remix on tape..)

With puzzled looks, the brownian-motion-guided airheads look behind and finally twig. Exit stage right. Maybe I should have used the horn to see how high they jumped? (ended up riding the brake with bumper about 18 inches behind their heels). Didn't even have nice figures, backsides or hair.
Jeez, how dopey do you need to be to get killed by misadventure in this country these days? Because obviously they'd been lucky enough so far not to come across, while walking, anyone in a car quite so switched off as they.

maybe i should take their lead and start driving on the pavement instead?

grrrrph.

also, to tonight's dipstick in the rover who i nearly totalled myself into the back of in a similar manner to a FOAF's polo into a lexus a couple weeks back: learn to drive you retard. a powerful saloon does not need thirty seconds worth of gap to pull into (when there's only fifteen of visibility anyway... all empty).... three is plenty in city traffic. plus if you're very obviously coming off the brake with someone coming up behind you, it helps to start moving rather than sitting there like an ever so slowly rolling lemon. Chrissakes.
(like the other guy, i picked up on the clues that said "don't brake as hard as you might" e.g. them coming off the brake with a clear road, and integrated them with what i saw when i looked right - nothing coming at all. So they're going to have moved off by now, yeah? and i can put my foot gently on the throttle. WRONG. Look back to see them still sitting there in a daydream and have to ham on the brakes pretty hard. (foaf wasn't so lucky - he totalled his left hand side panels against the lexy, which sustained a small scratch, the robot owner of which then demanded foaf pay for an entire new bumper to "fix")

PS, www.scambaiter.com is a pretty good site... if you're sick of email scams and ebay annoyances, and/or also bored, grab yourself a username and start perusing the goodness within --- a bbs dedicated to winding up (to eventual distraction), ridiculing and occasionally tracking down, photographin and finding personal details of the gimps responsible for it. mate of mine who introduced me is currently embarking on his first bait against a particularly emotionally vile one (or, if it's genuine, a bait that's going to backfire with collosal unhappy consequences)...... his name is Hugh Jarse, and he was born without vocal chords. At least, insofar as the internet fraudster community is aware ^_^

[dino]

easy solution - you should have just beeped them - problem solved.

[Tahrey1043]

i know, but it was just the sheer WTFness of the situation... you know when you just can't beleive what you're seeing, and it's a non-emergency, so you kick back for a moment to see what happens?

very clear pavement. very clear narrow, generally quite busy driveway. why aren't they walking on the pavement? WHAT IS THEIR SECRET PLAN? how are they still standing upright and talking at the same time?