Thursday Funny

[mysteryboy]

(maybe a little old but just came across it again so thought I'd share lol )

Three Pints of Guinness ...

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of
Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out
of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back
to the bar and orders three more.


The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I
draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One
is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to
remember the days we all drank together."


The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it
there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always
drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three
pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.


One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other
regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back
to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't
want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your great loss."


The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns
in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine.
It's me..."


"...I've quit drinking!"

[olop_chris]

Haha! i've not actually saw that before

[danthemanpologti]

nice one made me laff. im guesin that was the general idea tho!

[danny_boy]

lol ill look foward to next thursdays joke?

[mysteryboy]

https://www.youtube*.com/watch?v=-ZT5mQLy5C4&eurl

[Gra-GT]

LOL

Oh, while you're posting jokes, I got this one last week I thought I might share :


So imagine this .......My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over

a year, and so we decided to get married. There was

only one little thing bothering me. It was her

beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very

tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One

day "little" sister called and asked me to come over

to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when

I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had

feelings and desires for me that she couldn't

overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just

once before I got married and committed my life to her

sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if

you want one last wild fling, just come up and get

me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched

her go up the stairs.

When she reached the top she pulled off her panties

and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there

for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight

to the front door.

I opened the door and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing

outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged

me and said, "we are very happy that you have passed

our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man

for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:


Always keep your condoms in your car...

[ModifiedMadness]

Quality Gra.

[olop_chris]

haha thats so good! consider that one passed around the work place! lol

[dino]

lol at the irish one!

Seen that one before Gra - still funny

[Biddle]

Haha I like how at the end of the video

Person 1: Oh s**t, you get that all on film?
Person 2: Shut up...... Yes

And I'm getting buying a new bike was the least of their worries.

[mysteryboy]

Haha I like how at the end of the video

Person 1: Oh s**t, you get that all on film?
Person 2: Shut up...... Yes

And I'm getting buying a new bike was the least of their worries.

lol...

Give the guy a brake

(I'll get my coat)

[DanDiesel]

Irish joke is class!!! i think Gra's joke has been posted on here about twice i think, still funny tho!!