What was it? McCoys crisps!
Kissed someone on the cheek? Er probably last week!
Whos? My Mum?
Snogged someones face off? Last summer
Who with? ex-girlfriend
Had a wee? an hour ago
Washed your car? last Sunday
Bought someone a present? January 9th
What was it and who for? Bottle of red wine plus flowers for parent's anniversary on the 10th
Got drunk? New Year's Eve
Danced like there was no tomorrow? I don't dance!
Pretended to know something you didn't? Earlier today making spurious claims about IT networking equipment...