WoooHooooo (another MGF bites the dust)

[CalvinGTI]

Dont you just love overtaking those 'pretty' boys in their 'hairdressers' cars

hahaha

nothing worse than a pansy in a girls car, thinking his 'don dadda'

Anyone else got tales of great overtaking against 'lame drivers'?

Cal

[david burton]

Heh

I haven't had much chance to open her up on A and B-roads yet (although I will swipe every overtaking opportunity I find), but I had a good moment on the motorway the other day....

I get fed up of middle laners, and this vectra rep boy was on his phone doin "40mph" in the middle lane the other day with noone on his inside. So I overtook and pulled into the inside lane. I slowed down to his 40 mph about 30 yards infront of him, and he stayed middle-laning. I let him creep up then booted it all the way up to "70 mph" and he was left there looking like a right plum doing nothing in the middle of the motorway. He pulled in after that.



made me smile anyway. I hate middle laners. have I said that?!

[Tahrey1043]

I regularly overtake far too many people in highly capable machines that make me shake my head and wonder (often aloud).... "why in the f*** did you waste money on buying a sports car?".

Seriously. If I can easily overtake you and continue down the road in a safe fashion at the higher speed i choose - possibly still under the speed limit in many of these cases - on my skinny tyres, high-riding soft suspension, small disc & drum brake setup, wide 4 speed box and an engine with about as much power as a mouse fart.... then surely your vehicle is far better equipped than mine to do the same?

Maybe your reactions aren't up to it. In that case, get off the road. Or buy a cheaper car and hire a chauffeur with the proceeds. Or a taxi.

Maybe you don't like driving fast. In which case do your arse and wrists a favour and buy something more standard (or the unmodified version if its a Type R, MG etc) with a much plusher cruising experience than that stiff suspension, minimal sound insulation, heavy steering, sports seat and lack of AC/other toys may offer.

Maybe you just don't feel like driving fast *today*. Fair enough. I have trouble beleiving it because of the sheer number of these incidents that occur, but lets take it as fact for now. In which case, please try to keep out of the way, keep your speed to at least a reasonable level (eg 45-50mph on a clear, dry bit of A road with minimal curves), and dont do dumb stuff like take the "outside" lane when presented with a road widened out to three on a steep hill (grr! lights and then undertakage ensue).

Maybe you just want to cruise in something that looks bling. In which case buy a friggin lowrider (or, heaven forbid, mod up a 1-litre) so that at least the rest of us have something cool to look at while waiting to overtake. (don't buy an Escalade or other high vehicle. *designed* to be slow, sure, but impossible to see around)

Case in point today. Made nice progress to work. Held up a couple of times and had to overtake slow 'regular' cars. Not too much problem there, people choosing their own speeds (discounting the guy who not only missed the 40 changing to 60, but the previous 30 to 40, requiring me to burn off some asbestos) in nice comfy family saloons, and I after all am the fool with his foot down who is trying not to be late. Yes, even the BMW, as it was a 7 series and therefore as likely to have been bought as a barge than a speedboat.
What really sent the blood thermometer up was being caught behind an MG ZS (the one based on the 45, with quite a spunky engine, full sports modification and strip-down) going even slower than most of the above. Came to a curve signposted 40mph max for safety (yknow.. if you're a truck.. and it's snowing. an overloaded 2CV could take it at 60) for which they took it at 35. And barely accelerated after. I almost ended up in their bumper before realising the expected burst of speed out of the corner (as you might get addicted to in an MG) wasn't coming and hitting the anchors. I was still in top at that point... Eventually get sick of sitting at 20-under behind someone who should by rights kick my arse right from idle, drop to 2nd (2nd!), buzz past and continue on my way, making nice time - and assuming they were going the same way, arriving a good 3 or 4 minutes earlier. What the heck?
Whats worse is that, if they kept it up, they would eventually have the truck that was behind me coming off the last roundabout six inches off their bumper (well... at least there wasnt the extra irritant of them suddenly appearing out of nowhere in the mirror and tailgating me at full whack for a mile) as well as plenty other assorted traffic, much of which may not have had the lucky opportunity of a bare bit of road that i did to get past (or the power to do so safely, with the truck). When you get taken like a baby by someone driving a car a quarter of your power with tyres half the width of yours and are in danger of holding up road freight, why drive an expensive, uncomfortable (and uneconomical) sports car?

Incidentally this was on a road which has several parts where I struggle to keep up 60, so if they had been within a sniff of the limit, I wouldn't have bothered. Never mind people being fools on motorways (although - 40mph in the middle lane - thats unacceptable even in the *nearside* lane unless you're grinding an 18 tonner up a 1 in 20 grade... should have dropped to 30 to see if he'd take enough offense to get off the f**in phone) - you have 3 lanes to play with if you're a bit loose with the rules and keep your eyes and wits open. Being a nonce on a single carriageway means you're farrrrr more likely to p*** people off.

This essay brought to you by "yes, i am jealous, so what" and "grrr! industries ltd". and at least ive got that particular issue (why buy what you're not going to use?! just showing off to p*** off those who cant get it?) off my chest so hopefully it wont pop up again for a while...

I'll bring you weekly, more consise updates if you like
(maybe no real "races", but tales of 0wnage from my own twisted perspective nontheless)

[CalvinGTI]

At last, someone who agrees with me!

*throws spliff @ tahrey1043*

Nice essay mate ! well worth a read lol nice to know im not the only one who hates these rich ponces on the road.

Nothing worse than being stuck behind a £30k-£60k whos doing 25 mph in a 40mph for no reason. These people deserve to get taken out by a big truck and lose control of their legs.

I personally hate them with passion, Ive even had a few of them stick their fingers up at me as i overtake (safely) JUST because im making them look bad. Still, all was solved with a nice slowly brewed Flob directed perfectly on their windscreen.

Love it.

If you dont wanna drive fast, then dont buy a fast car, simple as that. if you buy it just to get you around your superficial and are TOTALLY all about your image.

Get a life and get a 1 Litre.

Cal

[polopowah]

blimey!
i lost the will to live reading that Tahrey!@!
but hey it was well said
you could write a novel on that!
i hate those ppl who are in the fast lane crawling at say 50mph, on a dual carriage-way with nothing in the slow lane! and they wont get over!
so wat do i do? i went up the inside of him (highly dangerous and illegal) but i lost myself at that precise moment and thought wat the f*ck looked back in my mirror and saw another car being held up by him, he did the same! these people should not be on the roads full-stop
and isnt it true wat they say about sunday drivers!
wat plonkers, toodling about 20mph in a 60!
-Ben-

[SteveB]

i hate those ppl who are in the fast lane crawling at say 50mph, on a dual carriage-way with nothing in the slow lane! and they wont get over!

I had the same thing the other day, but it was barely 30 in a 40mph dual carriage way. So I sat on his ass for a minute or so, then went in the slow lane. He stayed in the same lane.........

[thebadun]

I think that driving slowly can almost be as dangerous as driving too quickly. By driving at 45 in a 60 limit (that limits there for a reason) you frustrate the drivers behind you. The people behind you are more likely to take any oppourtunity to overtake there is, even when it may not be totally safe.

Don't get me wrong - I don't think we should be travelling everywhere at 100mph, but at a speed that is sensible for conditions and surroundings.

[Vee_Polo]

Hmm Very Good rant and i must say i agree!

Here's another example which pi***s me off even more.

When sailing up the motorway 65-70mph you get a nice clear run no lane hoggers to annoy you then you pass one of the aforementioned w*****s in his 2ltr 16v whatever and he's sitting at 40ish then as soon as he realises that you're going past him in the polo out he pops behind you right on your f*****G ass

Fair enough you can go faster than me easily but don't do it just cos you can grrr

[CalvinGTI]

Hah people who tailgate you after you overtake them on a motorway have a complex.

They cant be seen to 'be overtaken', they really are sad individuals . . .

Nearly as annoying as the perosn who thinks he needs to eat a King Size Mars bar at 7am on the Tube as his going to work.

Ewwww

Cal

[dabigginger]

Liam from Piststop Developments was trying out my car a few weeks ago. We were on the dual carrigeway in the fast lane. The road ahead of us was clear except 1 car on the slow lane about 30 meters away and an Audi TT doing 70 in the fast lane. We come up quick behind the TT - he does not budge, so Liam flashes the lights at him - still doesn't move... So, Liam floors it, undertakes him in the slow lane, moves back into the fast lane past the car on our left. Sure, enough the TT starts coming up behind us and we slowly lose him as we speed away. As we slow down, he comes beside us - gives us some dirty look before we went our different ways.

[david burton]

hahah laughing at cal and his description of his mars bar eating friend! hahaa that's made me smile!

oh, and TT people can f*** off if they don't drive it properly!

It's like the NEW BLOODY MINI DRIVERS....

they do me head in! SO MUCH. put a retard in an awesome handling nippy car and they suddenly have to DRIVE IT LIKE A PR1CK. swerving all over the place, cutting people up. get lost! I will eat you alive! YOU WANT SOME OF ME?! I will show you proper driving you pretend mini drivers.

Anyone else get this? Or is it just Brum?

p.s. no offence, it's a great car, it's just the drivers..... no jealousy intended

[Tahrey1043]

LOL I know I went off the rails a bit with that wibble, but some of those responses scare me! My we have a lot of similarly Angry Young Things on this board. Speshally Cal, if you were being serious! I was considering an enforced engine downsize and maybe a couple slaps with a wet fish. Breaking legs was only going to be for a 3rd repeat offense.

Guess I need to chill a bit... but yknow... there's all these speed cameras for those who will insist on going far too fast in obvious danger zones (or in obvious 100 yard long revenue generating strips)... there's no way to report someone who's driving like a lobotomy patient but within the limit however (IE on a reccommendation for a re-test/re-train if enough people complain*), short of calling the police, and they're not likely to be too happy if the suspect appears to be not drunk. Does frustrate from time to time.

Otherwise a fairly good week. Managed a blast to and from Stoke (out of Brum) inclusive of a stop at Ikea (scratched paint on the roof and side with a stupid cardboard box resting against while clearing space inside... scratched by cardboard for frigs sake!) with very little hold-up save the usual patches of traffic-wave crawl. Both ways less than an hour. Only had to undertake a couple of people who didn't realise the perfectly clear middle lane was better than the outside lane queue they were stuck in... and that's because in fairness I was trying to keep to a not quite realistic deadline. Given a five minutes extra leeway it would have been a breeze and a lot easier on the petrol budget. Yes... I can actually drive slow (and, shock horror, below the limit if necessary - such as finding out an "N" shaped bit of road across a junction really should be taken a lot slower than the suspension battering speed my first attempt was at - maybe 25mph instead of 43 (in a 40). Kabong.. That one will require braking in future, else breaking will occur!). Right now just aint a good time for it

That whole day was a pain in fact.... later had to make two ten mile trips with an enforced negative minute budget, due to some fool telling us all totally the wrong times for a training evening (6.30-9, actually 6-9.30) in which case I have to apologise to anyone I cut up with frenzied maneuvers... yes... this is the point for the footnote

* I would probably be a very early candidate under this scheme. Hypocracy rocks.

Otherwise a beautifully quiet and well behaved week on the roads...


(( PS I'm worried about these continued descriptions of ppl doing 40 on the motorway - are you sure about that? That would require some serious brain damage not to notice everyone is passing them like they're standing still. The only time i've seen that outside of juggernauts and overloaded/minibus transits is on britains worst driver.. yknow.. that strange hippie who never got out of 2nd gear to "save the planet" and was overtaken by cyclists.. Unless it's like a London (?) thing, p'raps you need to get your speedos tested, that "65-70" cruise could be a lot higher! ))

((( just to take the idea of a run on sentence into one of a run on post as i recall more bits... battles with people who can't stand being overtaken by an ickle car are fun, especially those who haven't the bottle to go much over the limit (9 pointers?). Volvo 850Ts are surprising foes. Passed one once right at the start of the M54, breezed right by when i was at 65 and he at maybe 50.... all of a sudden, right on my backside, so I pulls out of the way... he's gone, for maybe 3 minutes. I patiently wait the required time for the tiddler to build up a small head of steam and whaddya know.. volvo boy at about 75, sticking in the outside lane, refusing to pull over. For maybe the next 12 miles, I sit at a fairly constant speed with full throttle (high 70s.. roofrack), discounting obstructions, while this strange person orbits around me... pulling far ahead, then i pass them again when they finally pull over, and they disappear behind, tailgating me again whenever i dare to pass a truck. Eventually the wind changes and I pass 80, they mysteriously melt away. Or maybe MY speedo needs checked?!
Too bad the guy in the porsche my mum one celebrated overtaking at about 90 in her old 900cc panda didn't give chase, that would have been highly entertaining.

And another stupid thing. I can see "that" ambulance coming from about a full goddamn MILE away down the straight, bowl-bottomed valley part of the Bristol Road (A38 coming thru south Bham - 4 narrow lane "dual carriageway" but without a divider at this point), white and dayglo/red stripe front, full blues AND strobe whites and a hellish loud siren, using the second lane on my side as a temporary third on theirs and making good time past the early evening jams. So do a couple other people, and we shift from the faster 'outside' (26mph) to the slightly slower 'inside' for the 30 second or so duration of this hazard. So what's with the prunes who don't spot it until they're risking a head-on?? Try to catch a couple extra seconds by overtaking me at the last second so I have to brake almost to a halt to make a gap for them to pull in (typical - there was one BMW and one Rover) instead of continuing the steady 23mph I had just assumed - and then completely to a halt when they decide the ambulance actually needs a lane and a half (despite the evidence of the traffic going past it ahead) and pull to a halt partially on the pavement til it passes. Also stopping me and everyone behind. Grrrr. Guess they didn't see those helpful TV adverts? I was also in a hurry that day but decided it wasnt worth the risk for the half second that would be saved in that level of jam. Seems they couldnt decide between being in twice as much hurry and not being in one at all! As we then saw, there was plenty overtaking room opened up once the ambulance had passed... )))

[CalvinGTI]

haha the seriousness of my insults to these 'feeble' drivers shows how much i hate them, i wouldnt literally wish an injury upon them . .

but the thing is if an accident is going to happen, wouldnt you rather have someone who causes chaos to other users coming the worse off, rather than an innocent 'normal' driver who finds himself being involved in an accident through no fault of his own.

Like you say, Police dont do enough to 'dossy' drivers, the amount of old people ive seen let off by police for crossing lanes and cutting people up and the funny thing is these drivers still dont realise wot theve done, the police have to explain to them!!!!

*swoons*

Ill be honest with you though, theres nothing like cutting someone up and giving them the big 'beaming smile'

hahaha i think weve all done it at one time in our lives. . .

:¬)