So, having a nice, easy drive to work last night, thinking how lucky i was to get away with, scratched n chipped paint, a leaking rear screen, and an ABS sensor fault. Oh and maybe a bearing and hub flange grinding problem, when all of a sudden everything seemed a bit dark. Switched lights off and on again, external lights ok, dashboard lights, dead! The seeming a bit dark thing was because i was going into my work car park (super bright lighting). Parked up, tried starting, sound of starter motor giving it a shot, but no fire up, turned lights on, fires up! whaaaat?! Also, seatbelt light stayed on, Hmmmmn. Kept showing the ESP lamp, didnt think the brit models had any! Soooo (sorry its a saga!
) 6 this morning, tried lights on,turn key, fires up! set off, but wipers going super slow, windows the same. A bit down the road, and the handbrake warning comes on to compliment the already familiar sight of the ABS warning!
, and the beeep brakes are fubared sound, greeaat! Trying to get home, so i can get my little girl to school! then EPC and engine check lights flicker on and off, and each time theyre on the car loses power, with more frequency till it just dies.
Call to my long suffering father, tried jump leads, fires up, no probs, windows, wipers, dash lights, all good, handbrake beep starts again half way home wipers etc. sluggish too! Sorry to write another Harry Potter here, but i figure the battery aint gettin charged, alternator belt seems to be spinning/tight, strange "ticking" sound from drivers side of the "lump" maybe unconnected cambelt issues, woo hoo!
If you read this, thankyou, hope your eyes arent on fire!
and gratefully recieved 
To Alex, im ashamed to say , im much more of a reader than a doer 
Im sure you can understand the appeal though. Also, if it all gets too much, then someone here might be able to give the little beast a good home. 
ECP etc were less, but £30 is still much nicer!